Parallels of Peril

It seems that my life parallels peril as of late, however I have found ways to remain joyful in these circumstances. As everything around me seems to try and suffocate the life from me I realized that I must go through this. Why well that's up for speculation, however with introspection at a future date I may have a more correct view than the one I have now. God is good, I have a place to sleep, a place to stay, a job, and for that I am grateful. If we cannot appreciate what we do have, and find the good in these things we begin to lose hope, desire, and our ideas of self satisfaction grow. The greatest men and women throughout history have showed a lack of personal desire and only an increasing desire for their fellow man. To give is great, to give more is holy. In the face of such peril, how sweet is the taste of redemption. In all things man seeks this. I am still here by the grace of God, and for that I will give thanks.

Dan

A Boy With Broken Eyes

I would like to tell you of a tale

Written long ago

Of a boy with broken eyes

Whose concept of the world was peaceful and bright

He looked upon the trees

In the clouds he saw shapes

He played make-believe with friends

Jumped off the jungle gym in a cape

He loved and he laughed

It was all he knew

So one day while trying to read

what the teacher drew

He squinted and he sat up straight

But for all his effort and all his might

He couldn't decipher what was said

They told him to spell it out

and he was sure it could be read

But from this distance

His tongue was like lead

He tried to see each piece separately

Yet they all looked as one

They made him get up and leave

he couldn't read it, he was done

He remained quiet for a time

Shadowed in the shelter of peers

He did his work up close

For only there was it clear

One day he mentioned he couldn't see

The blurriness had done him in

He couldn't speak in class

A mind filled with pins

He sat in the famous white chair

Eyes stinging from forced air

Maybe, he thought, this isn't worth it

but with the utmost care

The man with the tie

Opened up his eyes

With clear glass and metal

The world he knew dies

He saw the things he never could

But saw more than he ever wanted

Sight is but a beautiful thing

But when made clear, he wished he were blind

For now he was more susceptible to

Responsibility

More inclined to answer

Questions

Forced to see the world through a different lens

If I were to take it all back again

I would lose so much

But to see what I have seen

perhaps it is worth

a chance

a glance

to make things perfect as they once were

Maybe that was just childhood...

Maybe it was my eyes...

Maybe the teacher

and the man with tie

were sent to make me see

So one day I could be

the the Tree that little boy used to see

lost in the essence of adrenaline

I'm laying here in bed about to fall asleep, and a thought jolted me awake. What if everything I've ever gone through, the places I've been, the things I've learned, come into play at some moment in time, where I realize, shit... This all really was for something. What I'm trying to say, is that if life has a point outside our normal day in and day out, then maybe we would embrace each day, and each moment with that much more importance. The way we treat one another, the way we receive failure and defeat, and how we embrace the joys... What if. I was wondering why I'm living in Montana. I know I won't be here for long, and I don't see myself living here for more than a year, but what if. I'm not saying that everything happens for a reason, what I'm saying is that it's reasonable to say that things happen, and for some reason, there will come a point where two perpendicular line collide, where the universe explodes and life makes more sense than it ever did before. Friendships, education, goals, plans, morals... Is it just the hope in me, or is it logical to think this way. As abstract as the world is, is it to abstract to hold a thought such as this? I have read the communist manifesto, dived into C.S. Lewis, explored nature, created music, and found myself enveloped in the world around. I have seen my ship sinking, and felt completely hopeless and helpless at times. I've yet to reach an emotional pinnacle, but who's to say if that is true, knowing what I know, and experiencing what I've experienced. I thought back to middle school, high school, and the various colleges, and found that I have learned a lot. What drives us to perservere, and push on. Is it this lost world of hope, that a pinnacle will be reached in all aspects of life, or is it something inside me saying, there must be more. I do not know, but I do know one thing. Without the low's in life I would not have realized how good I have felt at other times. I think we take for granted how good things are sometimes. I believe I have. Is this the reason for my downfall? I do not believe so, but is it just mere circumstance, or divine intervention. Our conscience tells us right and wrong, but does it tell us more. I have learned to read, and write, to think, and plan, but have I learned to decipher when I listen, or do I decipher what I believe I'm hearing. How do we know where we are going if we do not have a destination picked out. many people start college with one idea in mind but few actually succeed. Most change their mind. When will that happen for me. I see myself as a nomadic adventurer, who lives the rollercoaster of life with two hands in the air. I find myself taking unnecessary risks just to feel that rush, and yet at times I restrict those instances so that I can exxperience life. But what if life is in this moment and not the one I'm contriving or striving to find. I see myself as one thing, but hold myself back because I feel lost in the essence of adrenaline. We are made up of glands, of blood, veins that pump and lungs that breathe, but for where will this be best... There are many things I do not know but one thing I do know, is that if I ever stop, I may lose it. I have the spirit of jack london, and although I have yet to complete a revolutionary natural novel, I am creating my own with my life. One day someone will write about me, and say, "That was the craziest son of a bitch I've ever known, but he made life fun, and made it make sense although it may not have made sense to him, he gave things more of a meaning than they had before." Things are what they are, but emotions are more than they are. they are the blood of adventure, the adrenaline of the heart that pumps within each individual, and if I do not pump that every day I do a disservice to myself and those I come in contact with. I am passionate and extreme, but I should embody more than I experience if I am to pass on what I know and what I've learned. I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but if it makes sense than you will understand why I am writing this, and as you read this your heart should feel something. Your mind should tell you that there is more to a rainbow than meets the eye. The smell of rain, the bright sunlight glistening on drops of dew. There is more, so so much more

life on the doorstep of death

Why do we enjoy near death adventures so much? I thought about why we like and/or gravitate towards these things. I've come to the conclusion that it is in our nature. We have this idea that we are to live life to the fullest, and so experiencing something so powerful like climbing a 100ft cliff without rope, bungie jumping, jumping from a plane 18,000 feet up, gives us a feeling of power that we somehow control our very life. Yet trust is involved in all of these things. We trust our equipment, our own abilities, something outside ourselves. Tell me one instance where these two things do not coexist. Is this a blind trust? I think not, but maybe some people who fail, are also not thinking(play on words). People want to escape the every day stagnation, and although chemically and biologically it makes sense, the very fact that we put ourselves in deaths path seems odd. Animals don't do it, we are the only beast that does...So what does that say about our intelligence levels? Our need for certain chemical reactions... not much. I believe we do it because we need it. These near death experiences shape us, and make us who we are. It's an odd thing that we need these things to clearly show us our strengths, weaknesses, and what we are really made of. I've done more wild and crazy things than most people, and those that know me know this is true. Have I injured myself more as well...yes, but what I get out of it, is that I know what I'm capable of, and that I can do anything, albeit stupid things at times. I have marks all over my body from machete blades, to scars on my head from trampolines, and as many people remark, scars show your danger level What am I trying to say from all of this...Well we need near death experiences, wild adventures, and things that scare the crap out of us. These things are necessary to our existence, and if we are to live, and flourish, we need to experience more everyday. Most people say live life to the fullest, I say live each day on the doorstep of death, only then can you recognize your frailty, and your need to trust in something outside yourself. If we do these things just for fun is meaningless because if we fail we die, and if we die, we defy the purpose that the rest of the animal kingdom lives for, to live, to breed, to die, that is all. We are more, so much more

Contrast of Love

There are times

and even places

where actions and faces

can haunt the soul

Be mindful he said

oh things you don't know

So I stepped back to look at my shadow

lying there in the snow

There was a contrast of angles

of colors, and content

mixed with this icy mass

and as I stepped away I looked down

my shadow moving slowly along the ground

I tried to run

I tried to hide

but there was no outsmarting my stalker

no matter what I tried

It still haunts me to this day

when the sun shines bright

but that is just the contrast of love

and so I embrace the light

I've won the lottery

If winning the lottery is an unbelievable experience, going from a place where everything seemed stuck in a rut, to a place where everything is indescribably amazing then I feel like I've won. Out of a couple thousand people I was chosen for an incredible job. Of all the places I could go I came here to Montana, and met a lot of really amazing people, and even one special girl. Life is good, if not great. Although my past few years have been tumultuous it may have been worth it just to come here. Although the area is different from everything I've ever known, I have found peace. God is good, and I can't believe that things are once again going good.  

Sorry for a lack of recent posts, life has been crazy busy, but I have thought of some great things recently that I will share on here in the next few days. 

D

Becoming the thing we abhor

This one will be quick, but good. I gotta run to work here in 4 min. So talking with a friend yesterday we came up with the idea why many Christians don't smoke, drink, or even hang out in social contexts with non-believers. A spirit-filled life lived under God's grace and sovereignty is what I seek. The problem with telling yourself no to all of these things, even if done under moderation is troubling to me. I believe that they are scared that they would let themselves fall victim to temptations, thus not trusting themselves. I believe this goes deeper into the fact that they don't trust the Holy Spirit to guide them, thus leading their own decision making to replace God. They themselves a created an idol while all the while trying to stay away from one. Idolatry in it's simplest, and most hidden form. I do not believe that giving into everything is beneficial, Paul even talks about this, but did not Jesus drink with pharisees and "sinners." Don't forget you were a sinner condemned to die before you trusted Jesus with your life. I would ask that believers everywhere live like you were condemned, but also redeemed by the Blood of Jesus, so that Grace may about in you. Don't replace the spirit with yourself. Trust God, and if you truly love and follow him your life will show the fruits, of his work on the cross through your life.

Benjamin MFk'n Franklin

So Daylight savings time crept up on me today like a bum in an alley. Apparently, you have to get up an hour earlier for work. Guess I didn't get the memo. Daylight savings time, the actual switch not the day, is one of my favorite concepts ever. Not only does it screw with your head, and all the watches and clocks in the house, but it also lends time for a longer work day. The one benefit that I found is that it helps give someone one more hour a day to fish. Now to some of you this might be trivial, but the pursuit of more time to fish, is an amiable one to me. Every year we hear talk about ending this time saving concept, and every year because of people like me, we do not. Now the idea of allowing a longer work day, within this horrible economic recession seems almost counterproductive. I would like to argue the fact that this recession is a great thing. Not only does it allow for less endeavors that require money, but also lends a helping hand to require more time given for local activities. These activities might actually give those who are not socially inclined more time to spend with friends, family, and new relationships. As this recession draws on, and the time of day, theoretically is increased, it also increases the amount of time for drinking. Now I don't drink a lot, but for those who find solace in the bottom of an alcoholic beverage, this might seem to be a benefit. The problem is the poor become poorer without a savior and the sun stays in the sky longer, taunting them. For those who. deal or whom have dealt with depression this may be a good thing depending on which USGA zone you are in. For those in the northwest this may lead to more foggy windows as you watch the rain fall. For me, I enjoy more sun, more fishing, and more time with friends. In my honest opinion daylight savings time, Created by the blogs title, is one of the more beneficial time practices we have. For those who don't like it, well quite frankly you can suck it. I'm out

Introduction to Introspection on Ideologies

Welcome to my blog. Thought I would create something outside the realm of the networking oligopolies. The nature of these mass networking giants makes information almost inclusive in essence to the very abstract idea of sharing information to a broad audience. What I want to talk about will most likely be about events in my life and the affect of the aftershocks to both myself and those (nouns) who are involved. For those who don't know that I've moved, well there you have it, I no longer reside in Oregon. The change has been refreshing, almost like a late spring rain. I can smell it, taste it, and sense that the changing of the seasons is upon my life. For those that want an update, check in here periodically and I'll try to capture a piece of beautiful place. It has only rained once in two months, and snows at least once a week. The coffee bar I work at is truly a great place blessing in my life, and I thank God for that. As the season begins to turn I look forward to new experiences, new friendships, and a growth in my life that I haven't seen for quite some time. For those I left in OR, I will return, just not sure when. I want to thank you for being a part of my life, and I know life would not be nearly as joyful without you. To my Multnomah family, you have seen the best and worst in my life, and for those who cared what I shared, and prayed for me I thank you greatly. I was but a raindrop falling from the sky, dripping through the mud soaked earth on my way to this beautiful mountain stream. That period of time was tough, but it is just another cycle of life, and this next cycle will be all too exciting. I will continue to update this when I get a chance. Hope all is well and if you'd like to leave me a message on here telling me about your life, or even what you got out of my autobiographical introspection, I'd love to hear it, because most things that occur are enigmatic to me, and must be deciphered by the rosetta stone of another person. Thank you again, With love, 

Dan